In another heartbreaking scene this week after this recent tragedy, a child summed it up when he said “All the moms were crying.” And many dads are crying, too, because they also are feeling the terrible raw pain of losing such a precious part of yourself. It’s ironic that we as humans yearn to be connected to each other, to love so deeply–and the cost of this is the terrible risk of hurting so badly.
Last weekend I took my daughter and other family members to a holiday performance where one of the songs was “I Need You To Survive.” I felt the tremendous, loving bond in the audience, and the shared sorrow. It was a moment of feeling present and connected, and that was comforting. It’s true that we all hug our children more tightly, and this reminded me that we could hug each other more as well. We seem to need each other to survive emotionally.
There are so many other emotions running wild too–anger, and fear, about the gun insanity that threatens all of us because we’re such a violent country. Being overwhelmed by how complex the issues are–gun control, mental illness, schools and parents, violent video games, vestiges of cowboy culture…and more. How to start making the change we need to make?
It’s been hard to write about love and intimacy in the midst of this outbreak of violence…perhaps it does come down to the ultimate risk of loving someone–you might lose her. Or him. But what are you going to do? Be as present as possible, or back away from the connection?