At the beginning of each sexual intimacy workshop, I ask women to rank the most negative influences on their sexual relationship. Over half of the time, “negative body image” heads the list. We’re so trained to stand outside ourselves, judging our bodies–but to enjoy sex we need to enjoy on how our bodies feel, not how they look. So how do you make that shift?
One way is to pay attention to what you’re seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting. Appreciate how your body can stretch, and bend, and lift, how your feet and legs carry you. Many women say that yoga is a great part of “24-hour foreplay” because it helps them feel their bodies from the inside instead of standing outside, judging.
Paying loving attention to your own body may seem selfish, or self-centered, or even slightly weird. But remember the wonderful, intimate loop of sexuality: My experience of sensual pleasure is exciting to my partner, and hers is to me. Being in touch with my body helps me touch hers lovingly.
What has helped you appreciate your own body more? Let me know so I can post it here. And try to thank your body for three things today!